Friday, December 22, 2017

Pause and Behold


It's the most wonderful time of the year!

During this season of Advent and Christmas, as we are preparing our hearts for the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, I have been thinking a lot about Mary and what this season looked like for her. It wasn't filled with Christmas shopping and parties, that's for sure (haha). The more I have been thinking about all the emotions that I imagine Mary dealt with, I can't help but to put myself in her shoes. How would I feel? How would I respond? How would I act?

When we look at the beginning of the story of the birth of Jesus, we see Mary being met by the angel Gabriel, telling her that she has found favor with God and by the Holy Spirit, she will give birth to Jesus.

I've heard and read this story many many times, and I'm sure most of you have, too. I've even thought about how Mary might feel in this moment. But as I began thinking deeper about the story, I began to wonder and think about how she felt in the moments following this one.

She responded to the angel, saying "Let it be to me according to your word!" (Luke 1:38 NKJV). After this she went to the home of Elizabeth and received a blessing and sang a song of worship to the Lord (Luke 1:39-55). Now, I'm not sure what happened during all of the months between the announcement of her pregnancy and when the day came for her to actually give birth, but I do know she was with Elizabeth for three months (Luke 1:56), and later on, close to the time she would give birth, a census was decreed by Caesar Augustus so Mary went with Joseph to Bethlehem to be registered (Luke 2:4-5).

Here we have Mary, who is pregnant, traveling from Nazareth to Bethlehem for a census and it is there in Bethlehem where she ends up giving birth to Jesus. So here I pause, and think. I have no idea how difficult it is to travel when you're pregnant, let alone nearing the end of pregnancy, but I imagine it isn't an easy task. Plus, it's not like she was traveling down the road. According to Google Maps (judge me, lol), it takes about 2-3 hours to get from Nazareth to Bethlehem by car. So I imagine it must have taken them a lot longer. (Sidenote: I'm already not the biggest fan of road trips, so I certainly would not have enjoyed a long ride on a donkey as a pregnant woman trying get to Bethlehem).

I'm not sure if Mary was a complainer or not. I assume she wasn't, but if I were her I definitely would have been complaining about this donkey ride all the way to Nazareth. If it were me, my thoughts and words would have gone something like this: "Didn't God know this would happen? Why did I have to be pregnant at this moment? Couldn't God have waited until after the census took place? I mean, what an honor to carry the Son of God, but in the middle of all this?! Geez."

Okay, so we have Mary and Joseph in Nazareth, and now comes the time for Mary to give birth. Pause. Back when Mary first found out the news that she would give birth to Jesus, she went to Elizabeth's house and stayed with her for three months. If I were Mary, I would have been so thankful and relieved to have Elizabeth around, to have someone who understood what was happening and someone who would make this child bearing process a little bit easier. Now, here Mary was in Bethlehem about to give birth, many many miles away from Elizabeth. And once again, if I were Mary, I would have questioned God and complained, first, about why He had to bring me to Bethlehem, and second, about why He had to make me go through this birthing process without Elizabeth around.

To make matters worse, we all know what happens next. There is no room for Mary and Joseph in the inn, so Mary has to find another place to give birth to Jesus. By this point, personally, I would have just cried. I would have been so overwhelmed, so frustrated, SO confused. Even if the census had to happen, and I had to be far away from Elizabeth, fine. I would have been upset, but I could have made it work. But honestly, coming to the inn, so full of hope and excitement because this was finally about to happen, only to be told there was no space? Only to be turned away? I would have broken down right there and cried. I would have thrown a fit and yelled at God and asked Him WHY over and over and over again. I would have wanted to give up, knowing I wouldn't be able to because, well, I hadn't given birth to Jesus yet.



Y'all, reading the Christmas story this year resonated with me in a whole new way because clearly I was focusing on all of the inconveniences that Mary faced during her pregnancy (as you can see). I know it wasn't just full of inconveniences, but reading this story my own season of frustration with the Lord, I was able to empathize with Mary like I hadn't before. I was able to pick up on confusions, hurts, doubts, misunderstandings that aren't spelled out in the Scriptures, but that I imagine she must have felt. I was able to see that while we like to celebrate the birth of Christ, we don't (at least I didn't) tend to think about everything that led up to this glorious birth.

But, as we all know, the frustration [that I think Mary must have felt] isn't where it ends. The tantrum that I would have thrown (not sure about Mary, lol) is not the end of the story. Even though there wasn't room in the inn, there was room in a stable with a manger (and yes, if you're wondering, I would have complained about that too. A stable, God? A manger? Seriously??!).

And it was at that moment, in that stable where Jesus was born, when Mary laid eyes on Him and I am sure that every negative emotion that she may have felt leading up to that moment melted away. The moment she beheld Jesus. God, in the flesh. Immanuel. God with us. The moment she beheld this newborn baby and realized not only what she had done, but what God had done. When she beheld the Savior of the World, wrapped in swaddling clothes, and felt immense peace and joy. I can only imagine at this moment if I were Mary and held Jesus and looked into His beautiful eyes, that I would have wept. Tears of joy, tears of repentance, tears of recognizing the overwhelming goodness and faithfulness and grace of our God.

What a beautiful moment this had to have been.

While Jesus is no longer in the form of a newborn baby, He is still here with us. He still comes bursting through, after all of our moments of doubt and feelings of frustration and being exhausted. He slowly works His way into our heart and makes Himself seen and known. He comes when we are crying those tears of pain, those tears of sorrow, when we are making our way through doubt. He comes when we have reached the point of wanting to give up and the point of wondering if this is even worth it. He comes, even now, in the chaos of what we have made the Christmas season to be. He comes, in the midst of our busyness and schedules and gift-buying and house-decorating, and He is there. He is here. He is with us: Immanuel.

As we finish going through this Christmas season and as we get prepared to enter into 2018, let us remember to pause and behold. Behold Jesus. Our Lord. Our Savior. The Gift of Grace. Behold Jesus and let Him fill you with peace and joy. Behold Jesus, and weep. For our God is good, and merciful, and faithful. Behold Jesus and celebrate, because now, in Him, we have new life. Behold Jesus this season. Behold Him and take in all of the love that He has for you.

This is why God brought Jesus to earth. To show us His love in ways we will never understand. But oh does He love us, and oh does this love of His run deep.



Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, y'all!

Thanks for riding on this journey with me. What a year it has been. So so so much has happened, many ups and many downs. But through it all, I have learned to give thanks, I have learned to pause, and I have learned to behold the Lord.

May you learn to do the same. ♥︎



Catch y'all in 2018 :)

Blessings blessings and more blessings,
Elisha ♥︎