My first semester of teaching is.. over? It honestly doesn't feel real saying that haha! But actually it's been over for a few weeks and I've just been having quite the difficulty trying to process it all. And here I am 2 days before starting a new semester, deciding to write a blog post about a semester that has now come and gone. But nevertheless, here we are. So let's jump in.
First things first– this semester, well last semester, was HARD. It was hard, but also so so good. It was hard in a number of ways, but it was also good in a number of ways. Back in February when the Lord told me I would be doing Teach For America, I didn't really believe Him. I mean, a part of me did, but the rest of me doubted. Especially after my interview that I thought I bombed. But God STILL showed Himself faithful. He said I would be here, and now almost a year later, here I am. Fully in. One semester deep into teaching. One semester deep into living in Memphis. And every obstacle, every challenge, every hard thing that catches me completely off guard and tries to take me out, stops me in my tracks and reminds me that this is HIS will. This was not me. It cannot be me. It is Him doing this in and through me, and every day that I wake up and teach my 2nd grade kiddos, is another day that I am living in the fulfilled promise of the Lord.
It is so reassuring to know that I am seen. I feel like teachers in general do SO much that goes unnoticed, but knowing that the Lord chose me for this, and strategically and purposefully placed me here, I KNOW that He sees every single thing that I do and experience in this season, even if nobody else does. Every good thing. Every hard thing. Every exhausting thing. He sees it all because He led me here. He orchestrated every detail to get me here, so I know He is orchestrating (and therefore fully aware) of every detail going on while I am here. When I am tired and weary, He is not. When I am barely hanging on, His grip on me does not lessen. When I am ready to give up, He reminds me that He holds the strength I need to keep going.
Oftentimes I ask God why I am not doing something that is, I don't know, a little EASIER? And every single time He reminds me that if it was easy, I could do it in my own strength and I would not need to depend on Him. Mind. Blown. This hard thing, it's a blessing. Being pulled to the end of myself, it's a blessing. Feeling completely stretched thin and worn out, it's a blessing. It's a blessing because it draws me to Him. It causes me to drink deep from His well and cling to Him like I wouldn't have to if things were not this way.
Needless to say, this teaching thing has been a lot. It has been tough. Before I joined TFA, I heard how hard it was, and I knew it would be hard, but I did not ever think it would be THIS hard. Each and every day, I am seeing in a new way just how much teachers have to sacrifice for their students. And funny enough, at the beginning of 2021 when the Lord gave me the words "Sacrificial Love" as a theme for the year, I did not know this would be what He meant by it.
But teaching (especially this year, in a pandemic) in Memphis, TN has been nothing less than sacrificial love day in and day out. But that's how Jesus lived– sacrificially. And you know what, we are better for it. We are better because of His sacrifice. Because of His sacrificial love. So I will keep showing up and pouring out. I will keep clinging to the Lord in my weariness. I will keep being reminded that my brokenness is just an instrument for His faithfulness. And I will keep following in the footsteps of Jesus and giving sacrificial love to each and every one of the kiddos who walks through my classroom doors, praying that they would be better for it.
Humbly,
Elisha